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We've been close companions for more than 20 years, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. However, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her spouse walked away, and it was a massive blow. A lot of her social circle disappeared during that time, as they were drawn to him. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention to be my friend, and must have realised more clearly the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Over the years, several in her circle vanished and she isn't certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we have each left the workforce and are seeing frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play between us is as the audience. I open subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. In terms of politics, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She is arranging a vacation abroad I have traveled to on several occasions even called home for some time. My intention was to offer personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She purely just desired me to confirm her plans. I have come back from a month in that country and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly understand the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Right now, I am in pulling back. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of a solution demands strength and readiness for each of you.

Experts suggest applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step requires explaining what typically happens in your conversations. Aim for this to be objective and clear like exactly what occurs. Next is to express the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument here. Emotions belong to you, naturally. Step three is to question how the two of you can shift the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also holds perspectives, meaning you must to be prepared to acknowledge it. An approach that works is to say to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for a set time."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Key Takeaways

Your friend might reject all you say, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a story of their life they're unable to abandon since their identity relies on it being the only thing familiar to them. This is difficult because there's no easy route with these people, only cul-de-sacs. But she may at first react this way and then think your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it provides peace knowing you were truthful.